Plunkman's Ponderings

Monday Meanderings

2003-09-08T11:19:00.000-04:00

Long time no post, but made up for it with some quality stuff!

404-ever

R.I.P. Warren Zevon

Animal Antics

Grizzly bear loves animal-rights activist. For breakfast

Missouri's rivers have some crazy carp jumping into boats

When you're posing for a picture with that shark you caught, make sure it's dead.

NASCAR canine mascot black flagged

Private Parts

Interesting placement of firecracker results in fractured pelvis and colostomy.

New Zealand celbrates National Penis Day

South Korean women take hair transplants to a whole 'nother level

70 year old Yoko Ono willstrip for peace Oh, the humanity!

Thanx, Pete

Weekend Wonders

2003-08-29T21:21:00.000-04:00

Yeah, yeah...I know I'm overdue, but whaddaya want for nothing? Rrrrrrrrrrrubber Biscuits?

Must-see! Nothing funny here, just an awesome shot of Mars from the Hubble telescope.

New Zealand web pubisher claims terrorists can build cruise missle, proves point by doing it himself for less than $5k

Animal Antics

Japanese safari park home to world's first zenkey

Animal Liberation Front releases minks from captivity. Minks immediately start killing off local cats chickens etc.

Whale watching - up close and personal

Don't Try This at Home

We've all seen that insurance commercial where the jogger runs into the deer, right? Well, once again, life imitates art

Nasty Nuptials

Remember the story of Adrienne Samen, the 19 year old bride who went from her reception to the South Windsor, Connecticut jail? It just got better If you'd like to see her in action Here's the video

Man doesn't like taste of wedding cake,munches on finger instead

Fun With Food

mmmmmmmmmm.....donuts.....Krispy Kreme truck held for ransom

Maryland man arrested while choking his chicken at KFC

Whatever

It took six sets of batteries, three drivers, and two and a half hours for the first Segway to make it 7.6 miles to the top of 6,288- foot Mt. Washington in N.H. Wednesday.

Is your love life a gas?

Female sandal wearers rejoice! The foot licker won't be around for a while.

Aubern footbal coach Tommy Tuberville stalks hamsters to relieve stress. No comment from Richard Gere.

Thanks to Pete and Le-Gal for some links

Thursday Thunder

2003-08-21T19:01:00.000-04:00

Internaional Incidents
U.N. conspires with France to keep man unemployed

Scottish comedian Billy Connoly wasn't laughing on a recent flight.

Medical Mishaps
Clinic pulls boner of a mistake, but patient never heard it coming

Ever heard or saw something so funny you could die laughing? This guy did

Long Arm(?) of the Law
2 men facing 19 years on a numbe of charges,
including shooting thier victim in a "a pretty outrageous place to shoot somebody."

Full moon in courtroom gets his ass 20 years in the can.

Hassidic Jew claims wearing electronic monitor bracelet "against his religion".
Fact that he's charged in multi-million dollar fraud scheme doesn't seem to be a problem.....

Boat hits rocks, jumps onto highway, smashing into car. Poice investigate possibility of alchohol being involved. Ya think?

California Update

Monkey Butt - The official beer of the California recall election.

This 'n' That

The English language is very much alive, constantly evolving and growing as we become a more cultured sosiety and our language reaches bootylicious new heights
WORD!

"Naked Lunch" comes to New York.

Tons of Fun Tuesday

2003-08-19T20:14:00.000-04:00

animal antics

Alaska AG putting end to Elk's rat race. Fact that rats are really gerbils ignored.
No comment from Richard Gere.

New Mexico Game and Fish Department uses "sheep whisperer" to relocate flock.
Nope, not a word. I'm not touching this one.

China turns eagles loose to eradicate Great Gerbil invasion.
Still no comment from Richard Gere.

long arm of the law

Reno man arrested following barstool chase

Don't tell blonde jokes in Bosnia

far east follies

Forests cleared to begin construction of Japan's 2005 Aichi World Exposition.
What's the theme of the Expo? "Wisdom of Nature"

North Korea develops nuclear weapons, (everybody say it with me)...France Surrenders!

Ah-nold Alert

The "miguided slackers" behind the We Love the Iraqi Information Minister phenomenon set thier siights on Ah-nold

a day to remember

What Mei-Fen Yeh did on her 100th brthday.

South Windsor, CT police department.goes into wedding photo business.

Monday Meanderings

2003-08-18T17:31:00.000-04:00

Most police logs published in newspapers are boring.
Not this one!

It's County Fair season!
MMMmmmmmmm......Fried Dough....Corndogs...French Fries....
Salad-On-A-Stick?

wedding bell blues
Pamplona may have the Running of the Bulls, but Filene's Basement has the Running of the Brides

To Hell with being a millionaire - "Who Wants to Marry My Daughter?"

squeal like a piggie
British man takes his love for animals a bit too far.

Owner charged when pig attempts to reverse food chain

helpful hint
If you're go job hunting at a major company, beter see if you can pass the Kobayashi Maru scenario first.

kowabunga,dude!
English surfers build a "surfboard dam" and become hero-type dudes

Weekend Wonderings

2003-08-15T21:35:00.000-04:00

This & That

Satellite pics of USA Before and after blackout.

Move over, Joe - G.I. Dubya is here!

Scientists find something just doesn't smell right in latest study of whales.

Blender magazine names Insane Clown Posse worst...band...ever. Partridge Family demands recount.

Florida man uses histaste in bagels in attempt to end probation early.

You Sexy Thing

German man uses extreme methods to beat sex addiction for good.

If you tell the police you're shooting a porn video, make sure you have a camera

Long lines at the rest room no longer a problem in Minneapolis.

Road Rants

Florida AAA manages to piss police off while performing public service.

If you want to avoid a speeding ticket in Seattle, just don't pull over!

Kentucky man finds original way to slow down neighborhood speeders

Happy Humpday!

2003-08-13T15:16:00.000-04:00

British doctors say most who get penis enlargement surgery have a "profound psychological disturbance". Not sure about the psychological part, but the very thought of sharp objects in that vicinity is disturbing, especially when mistakes like this happen.

speakinkg of which

There's a disabled man in Amsterdam who recieves a maximum repayment of EUR 125 for prostitute-given sexual favours each month, but he's run into a little problem....

Perhaps he could talk to this guy, who seems to have found an alternate use for traffic cones.

Food Files

I now pronounce you man and wife - You want fries with that?

Helpful hint: If you're on a prison work-release program, don't have the burritos made with beer-and-tequila marinated meat for lunch.

For those of you who were following "The Restaurant" reality show, low ratings are the last thing Rocco has on his mind these days.

Listen to you mother!

More proof that your mother was right about always wearing clean underwear!

As the Worm Turns

You snooze, you lose - Microsoft made a patch available for the Blaster worm (also known as LoveSan) flaw in mid-July when it first turned up, but so many people ignored it that people who waited until now to apply it are running into serious problems.

The Maryland DMV had to shut down at noon Tuesday because of the worm.

California Update!

According to the psychic dogs that picked Bush over Gore by "a couple hundred votes" in 2000, the Terminator will be the next Governator

Just Another Manic Monday

2003-08-11T19:33:00.000-04:00

A little song to get you in the mood for another week. (safe to open, possibly not safe for work)

Moday won't suck as much if you start your week with a message from Strongbad and the gang at Homestar Runner

Georgy Russell is one of the 190 people who'd like to be California's next governor. She's got an (ahem) intersing way of fund raising.

"Ah-nold" to bikini-waxer - I WON'T be back!"

When Peggy McCormally's husband died, she thouht it was "such a shame he couldn't enjoy the great party we had to celebrate his life," so she celebrated her 80th birthday by hosting her own wake

They keep feeding me straight lines...Time-Warner comes to its senses and is considering dropping AOL.

What were his parents thinking? This is a page from the website of the Aiken County Sheriff's Office in South Carolina. Note, if you will, the sheriff's name, and ponder growing up with it.

And a belated good luck to Le-Gal as she kicks off her law school career!

Motoring Mayhem & Movie Madness

2003-08-10T15:05:00.000-04:00

Motoring Mayhem

You can get away with breast-feeding while driving, but you'll do time for carjacking in your underwear. Oh, and when you're done with the car, stay alive or you just might be ticketed for parking while dead

Movie Madness

Yes, Jurassic Park 4 is in pre-production stages. No, Barney will NOT be starring.

As if "Freddie vs. Jason" wasn't proof enough that Hollywood's run out of ideas (the smart money's on Freddie, BTW), Out of the past (where else?) come big-screen remakes of"Starsky & Hutch" with Snoop Dog as Huggy Bear, and threats of Britney Spears painting on the cutoffs in the movie version of "Dukes of Hazzard".

Gigli (pronounced "zhee-lee") ie bad. Rigli, rigli bad. How bad is it? In less than two weeks, it's already number one on IMDB's "Bottom 100 Movies" list.

This & That

Federal judge OK's MIT's "F-U" to RIAA

"Cool" still favorite slang word for Brit kids. Yeah, whatever

Oh - and keep your eyes on the nighttime skies! in August, Mars will be at its closest to Earth for almost 60,000 years., and won't be that close again for almost 300 years, so it's your best - and probably only - chance!

thanx to Pete and le-gal for passing along a story or two

Hot Thoughts

2003-08-09T13:15:00.000-04:00

As hot and humid as it's been the last week or so here in New England, it's been far worse across the Atlantic, where they're heading into a second week of dealing with record-breaking heat. (FYI, 40's over there is like 100-110 here)

How hot is it? In Germany, Brewers are working around the clock. Overtime is common, people are working weekends, and breweries are on triple shifts" to keep a dreaded beer shortage at bay, an Spain is about to declare an ice shortage. Someone must have lost the recipe.....

Some European zoos are giving their animals unusual treats to help them cope with the record high temperatures baking the continent lately.

Speaking of animals, I love them as much as the next guy...as long as the next guy ain't this guy, who seems to have taken the term "animal husbandry" a little too seriously......

Lucky Dog
This one speaks for itself...
Miracle dog survives gas chamber

Only in America.....

2003-08-08T16:35:00.000-04:00

Q) Hey, Kobe Bryant! You've just been arraigned on rape charges. What are you going to do now?
A)"I'm going to Disneyland!"

Word to the Wise

If you've gone to one of those government auctions where they sell vehicles seized from drug smugglers and bought a car, check the trunk BEFORE you leave - especially if you're going to Mexico....

Just Too Easy...

The latest Taco Bell promotion is called "Drink Big, Get Gas"
Insert your own punch line....

Jer-ry...Jer-ry...Jer-ry

Common sense finally got the best of Jerry Springer, who has decided against a run for the U.S. Senate, realizing his show pretty much precludes anyone taking him seriously as a candidate.

Aa if he needed proof of that, earlier this week 29 year-old Paul Alexander,was on the Springer show bragging about dumping his 22- year-old girlfriend and talking about the 7-year-old child they had together. Do the math. The authorities did, and looks like Paul won't be showing up on TV anytime soon, unless it's on Court TV....

Welcome To The Land of Fruit and Nuts

2003-08-07T13:34:00.000-04:00

Why isn't the creative team at Fox all over the California gubernatorial recall like white trash on Springer? If that election isn't shaping up to be the ultimate celebrity reality show, I don't know what is. Imagine the possibilities! Let's run down a partial list - just some of the more well-known names - that have plunked down the $3500 filing fee to guarantee their place in history.

We must, of course, start with "Ah-nold", now that he actually IS the "Running Man". From "Total Recall" to "Gray Davis Recall", political inexperience be damned, he's got the best name recognition of the bunch so far, and besides, who could back another candidate after answering the phone and hearing that voice say "This is Arnold. I'm running for governor. Vote for me or I'll be back."? But this isn't about politics, it's about entertainment value, so we slog on to the next candidate...

Tom Laughlin. While you're sitting there saying "who the hell is he?", let's step into the Wayback Machine..... "Listen children to a story that was written long ago..." those of you over, say, 40 or so may recognize the opening line of "One Tin Soldier", the theme song from the "Billy Jack" movies Tom wrote/directed/produced and starred in back in the 70's.

After those two are done beating each other up it's time for some comic relief, so let's bring out Leo Gallagher, better known only by his last name, who could view anything that doesn't fit his agenda as a watermelon.....

"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Ah-nold?" Yup. Gary Coleman's in the race, but once he found out Schwarzenegger was, indeed, running, said he'd stay in the race, but stop campaigning and vote for him instead.

Who said politics wasn't sexy? (Yeah, I know, not Bill Clinton) Porn star Mary Carey's plan to "bring happiness to the streets of California" includes making lap dances tax deductible, generating revenue by taxing breast implants, and creating a "Porno for Pistols '' program, where gun owners can to swap their weapons for X-rated films.

If she doesn't win, maybe the next candidate will give her some work. After all, she's already had a (ahem) spread in Hustler, one of candidate and porn publisher Larry Flynt's magazines.

Then there's Angelyne, a "self-made celebrity", whose claim to fame seems to be appearing on Hollywood billboards and driving around in a pink Corvette.

Think about it - the ultimate game show! And the sad part is, it actually IS reality.......